Last week I went on a binge; an egg eating binge.
I like eggs boiled instead of fried because I just feel like boiled ones are healthier.
My doctor has not said eating eggs are bad but lately, I just don’t feel good when I eat them. I get very gassy and even get stomach aches sometimes.
So I decided to put them out of my life for a while; I did not think that I would be writing this now. I thought it would be easy but I did not even last a week without my eggs.
Why did I fail? My dealer was right behind my house. It’s the provision shop I buy all my petty daily needs like bread, milk, drinking water and other necessities at. The arrangement of wares in the shop is such that fresh brown eggs are the first thing you see; neatly washed and nicely displayed in crates. The attendant also fries some which she serves with oil rice/ braised rice locally known as “omo ne angwa” to a very loyal group of customers. This Ghanaian delicacy also goes with hot ground pepper.
Anytime I found myself at the front of the shop which was as frequent as every other day, the eggs stared at me in the face, singing, ‘buy me, buy me, buy just two, you know you miss me’. Then I would remember how well I like them with my tea, which I took everyday, mmmm, how good if felt afterwards. I would still feel the urge to go back and buy more after I had left the shop.
Even when I would not go to the shop because I did not need anything, I could smell eggs from my room. Yes! The aroma of fried eggs travel far, not that far enough but still far. The shop was right behind my house, specifically, behind my window. I can even see the eggs from there so yes… aroma of fried eggs travel very far to me. That was the trigger for me and it made me keep missing my eggs; I craved them badly.
I was able to hold myself for four days. All the while reminding myself about the gas eggs gave me but eventually, I caved, gave in to the urges and bought two, boiled them and ate them all at once. I wanted more afterwards. I continued eating them daily for a week and then I started having the gas and tummy aches again, then it dawned on me that I really had to go on an egg cleanse, a thorough and unbending egg cleanse.
I judiciously began and now, even though, I can still see and smell them daily, I know and always remember the reasons why I don’t want to eat eggs anymore .
The urges that one gets to go back to using drugs in early recovery are nothing compared to what I described with the eggs, the experiences may follow a similar pattern but the urges for drugs are stronger and much more persistent. You know where to find your dealer and can get your next fix anytime you want to, but something that can determine whether you go for a fix or not will be the reason why you decided to quit in the first place.
So why did you decide to quit? Is it to get your wife back? Or for your children, for your job, or for health reasons or you just want to start over, turn over a new leaf, make a fresh start and try to get things done right this time?
Always remember the reason, understand the implications of those reasons and believe them. That will be a powerful weapon to fight against temptations ( triggers and cravings). If you don’t know why you are quitting, or you don’t believe those reasons are good enough even if you have them, them think again because all around us are ‘eggs singing for you to buy them’; buy me buy me, buy just two…….