All decisions take place in the mind before manifesting in action. To eat or not to eat, to drink or not to drink, to bathe or not to bathe and the rest.
Many people go in and out of toxic relationships because they tend to forget the real reasons why they had to leave. They remember the good times when they are lonely, which eventually becomes a big trigger for their return into the bad relationship.
I always tell my clients to treat their ‘drug of choice’ like a toxic Ex, who hurt them, manipulated them, wasted all their money and totally destroyed their self esteem.
Here are four points to remember when you are lonely and contemplating about going back to the ‘toxic ex’.
1. Stop Romanticizing that Relationship
Stop thinking about the relationship you had with that drug as if it was the best thing that happened to you. If it was, you would not have ended up in jail, in the rehab, lost your friends, job, and health.
If something is good for you, it will make you better, not worse. Those brief moments of euphoria, cannot be compared to a lifetime of health and wholeness that is guaranteed outside of that relationship.
If it was not good for you yesterday, it will not be good for you tomorrow.
2. Remember the Bad Times
Never forget any of the bad experiences you had because of that drug. I do not know about them, no one can tell them to you, only you know them.
Remember the hangovers, the near death experience due to an overdose, remember that time when you had to sleep in the drug den because you lost your house, remember the Cirrhosis or Hypertension you have to deal with now for the rest of your life.
Anytime you feel like going back to that drug, think about those bad times.
3. Remember all the Money Wasted
No good partner will make you spend everything you have and even make you borrow more money to support them. This is what drugs do. If you have survived such a relationship, even though you may be feeling strong and confident now, going back in will not end up better for you because you have ‘experience’. Things will only get worse.
Take some time to calculate all the money you have ever spent on drugs, you will be surprise at the amount you will come to. Think about what you can do with all that money if you begin to save it instead.
4. Remember the Manipulation
A bad partner will make you think that, without them, you can do nothing! We both know that is a lie; before them, you were.
This happens with drugs too. You remember the withdrawal symptoms; how bad you felt when you began to quit, and it felt like the only way to feel better was to go back to it?
Withdrawal symptoms are temporary, like dealing with a bad breakup, and you will be fine eventually. You just need to be patient.
Your thoughts and feelings about your drug of choice are what will determine what actions you will take in relation to it: to go back to it or not to go back to it. To be certain that you succeed in not returning to it, stop romanticizing about the drug, remember all the money you spent trying to keep the habit going, remember how you were manipulated into thinking that the drug is the solution to all your problems and never forget all the bad times you had because of that drug.
Stay strong, everything will be fine.
A lesson learned, never think without drugs you cannot survive, Just made up your mind, and you are cool to move on to a better life.
Great piece
Continue the good work
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Thank you very much
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Thanks for another insightful teachings Sis.
Keep on healing your generation. God bless you more 🙌
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Thank you Eric Baiden for your kind words always.
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Well well done sister, you know one difficult point I have noticed is that if a drug addict have the time or awareness to analyst the quantum of money that is spent or will be, then it’s his or her first point of return or abstaining from such act.
Thanks it’s great I love this keep on!
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I am very glad you appreciate this Samuel. Thank you.
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