Father’s Day. Yeeeiiiii!
Today, I saw a lot of social media posts of pictures of fathers, pastors, husbands, brothers and father figures in general. The first thought that crept into my mind is this, ‘‘most of these people are posting pictures of father’s they probably have not spoken to or been good to in weeks or months, just to keep up appearances’’.
I am not saying you are one of those people. I was just wondering whether we have taken time to actually reflect on what this day is supposed to be about.
I personally think this is a day to be grateful to the fathers in our lives for their love, care and guidance.
For you in recovery, this is an opportunity to ‘mend fences, build broken bridges and strengthen wobbly ladders’ with your fathers. This is the time to get closer to such figures who are capable of being there for you physically, emotionally, financially as well as spiritually.
If you do not know how to go about that, here are a few suggestions.
Say Thank You
It is important to express how grateful you are to your father or father figure for what they have done for you. Be specific in what you are thanking him for. There may be a lot of things you can say but listing them specifically will have a greater impact than just saying, ”Thank you daddy for everything’’. How do you think something like, ‘‘thank you daddy for paying my hospital bills last month’’, will make him feel? Even if he has done nothing for you according to your expectations, you can still thank him for giving you life (that is if he is your biological father).
Saying ‘Thank You’ attracts more of everything. You will get more of whatever you appreciate, so thank him more often.
If you have offended your father in any way, apologize to him, not just today but today can be the beginning of a better relationship between the two of you.
If he is the one who has offended you, you can forgive him and try to start a healthy relationship with him again.
Humility, forgiveness and letting go of bad blood between close relatives and associates is the beginning of a healing process which will eventually help in your general recovery.
This does not however mean that you should hold on to relationships that are toxic, abusive or drug fueled which could eventually set you back in your recovery.
Forgive, let go, but only hold on to fruitful and nourishing relationships; father or whoever.
This applies in situations where you can make up for a loss you have caused. Let us say, during the time when you were actively using drugs, you took some money from your father without his permission. This will be a good time to return it, that is, if you can afford to.
Try it, it could be a wonderful surprise, but if by your assessment you think this gesture will cause any form of trouble, it is better to just move forward and forget about the past.
Now Do the Social Media and Other Things
Post pictures and beautiful poetry about your father. I am sure this will make his day when he sees it.
You can also organize him a small party, buy him a gift or take him to a nice restaurant to treat him to a wonderful dining experience.
All these will go a long way to let him know how much you appreciate him and also help you develop a deeper bond which in turn will be beneficial for you as a source of unconditional support.
Let me know how it goes!